I do not delude myself...

The reduction in the frequency of my posts is a direct result of my increased level of integration to life here; the more I am comfortable living here, the need for contact with home becomes less pressing. That said, I think I have reached a turning point in my integration. Up until now I was trying to participate and appreciate everything, but having attempted that for half a year I can now comfortably say that there are certain things that I am just not ever going to enjoy so I can stop trying. This is a liberating feeling that will ultimately result in a more enjoyable experience. For example, I will never go to another dance here (think “dance monkey dance” in front of hundreds of kids), I will stop waiting exorbitant amounts of time for other people, I will stop worrying about waiting for the third round of tea before leaving, etc. All of these things may be technically culturally inappropriate, but I know of no person in the world who is totally culturally appropriate. The downside to this change in attitude is that it is the recognition of the fact that I will never be totally comfortable here. I do like it here, but I cannot picture ever being completely contented here, even if it was not so hot. I agree with Barry Lopez that, “each culture is a repository of some good thought about the universe; we are valuable to each other for that,” and at the same time I agree with his reference to Wildfred Thesiger’s statement on traveling with the Bedouin, “I was happy in the company of these men who had chosen to come with me. I felt affection for them personally and sympathy for their way of life. But though the easy quality of our relationship satisfied me, I did not delude myself that I could be one of them. They were Bedu and I was not; they were Muslims and I was Christian. Nevertheless I was their companion and an inviolable bond united us.”