Friday, December 31, 2010
The EPA has set GHG regulations
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Fully Funded!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
14 more guests!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Cancun
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
60,000 Pedal Strokes later
It was actually more like 65,000 pedal strokes later...
Thursday, November 11, 2010
The Great Trail Building Party
Ever since I the first time I walked out to the Ségou waterfalls a year ago I have dreamed rebuilding the trail that leads to it. For me, the idea of throwing rocks around in the woods with purpose is about as good as it gets. Last week I finally got that chance.
When the villagers first decided to try to make Ségou a tourist attraction several years ago they built a “road” half way out the falls up to the point where the trail joins the streambed. That part of the trail is still in good shape, although it is currently overgrown with tall grass that blinds you as you try bike through. It also drops seed into the back of your mouth which is impossible to get out. Aside from that, it is fairly level and even, so we decided to concentrate on the part of the trail that follows the stream. For four days eight other volunteers and I camped out at the start of the stream-trail and worked our way up to the waterfalls. During the day we were joined by three to five locals from my village. (The idea that it would be fun to camp out in the woods seems scary, stupid, and weird to them.) Each morning we would get up, have breakfast, and then set out to work on the trail. Around one we would break for lunch and tea. Like always, making tea took several hours, something I did not mind one bit since I had strung up my hammock between two stands of bamboo. After tea was finally done, we would rush out to get in one more hour’s worth of work before the light faded. Returning to camp those of us spending the night made a few drinks and settled down around the fire for an entertaining evening of conversation and swapping stories. Adding to the conversation, we were joined by two Belgian tourists who were passing through, Nick and Katherine. They bought a van in
Working on the trail itself was a heck of a lot of fun. We all had big smiles on our faces the whole time as we were chopping with machetes, throwing big rocks down hills, and jumping into pools in the stream whenever we had the chance. Each of us lost about 15 years of maturity while we were out there. The best part about it was that even though we were acting like children just playing around, we were actually accomplishing something meaningful. Now it only takes half an hour to cover the distance we cleared whereas before it took over an hour and was dangerous to the ankles of those who are not accustomed to rock hopping. Now that the trail is done the ecolodge is one big step closer to being fully operational. We just need to get the doors on the bathrooms and clear the paths in the lodge and we can start publicizing the ecolodge to guides and local tourism operators. WOOHOO!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Introducing phase two of the Segou Ecolodge Project
First guests!
The ecolodge had its first guests!!! I can't describe what a great moment it was. After a year of working on the project we finally saw some results!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Photos
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
More about the rain...
Visual music,
bathes the earth
as a mother lovingly bathes her child
Stilling solice,
dampens the burning ball
of intense inner fire
Cleansing clarity,
clears the air
of immediate concern
Descending droplets,
return grounded
in growing pools of reflection
Running rivlets,
springing up in the sand
inspire new directions
Nourishing nectar,
fuels growth
towards a higher purpose
Rain in West Africa, a rare regularity,
is welcomed by parched soils
and parched souls.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Lightning Tree
Ingli Trip
and another post!
Things have gotten GREEN! It has been raining twice/thrice a week for a couple of months now. This part of
People are leaving. The volunteer community is sort of a bizarre social atmosphere. We are thrown together as a group of strangers that shares a common tongue, background, and set of challenges. We generate great camaraderie while still not really knowing each other. Then volunteers start finishing their time and leaving before you know it, only to be replaced immediately by new faces. In
Fun. The volunteers in the Kedougou region put together a show for the community radio station every week. It is a great activity that I support wholeheartedly, in principle. Really though, I have no real interest in taking part even though nearly everyone else pitches in. Recently I was asked by another volunteer why I would not help out with the upcoming show and without thinking I deadpanned, “It doesn’t sound like fun at all.” To which another volunteer within earshot responded “I like your work attitude!” I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but it stuck in my mind in that fateful way that hidden truths do. Time passed and when it popped up again I realized what else it meant: all of the work I do, is fun to me. While I am sure that my interests and attitudes have adapted to the job I am currently doing, being in the completely unstructured work environment of a PCV has given me the freedom to choose only the work that I find fun, and on a day to day basis. It is often hard for me to tell if I am what I am excited about is my work, or is my life. I realize I might not always have this, and I am therefore appreciating it all the more, but knowing that this type of feeling about one’s work is achievable, it is going to be something I am willing to sacrifice for in the future, if need be.
The campement. Little progress has been made on the campement lately. From the beginning of the year up until my trip to
Ramadan. Is the holy (lunar) month for the Muslim world. If you want to know the theological significance of it, I’m not the person to ask. I just know what happens here. For the whole month of Ramadan all practicing Muslims (except those who are sick, infirm, pregnant, or nursing) fast from sun up to sun down. That means no food or water from dawn to dusk. In my village, they wake up at 5am to eat breakfast and suck down as much water as they can. Most people still work out in their fields or prepare food for at least half the day, because, well, they have to. Towards midday people start lying down, a trend that continues throughout the afternoon. Then around dusk everyone gathers around a bowl of Mboydi, little balls of corn flower in a tangy sweet sauce. They all sort of stare at this until the evening prayer is called and they can break their fast. Then they can drink water again. Dinner happens around 10pm, then everyone goes to sleep in order to get up at 5am the next day. This is now the third Ramadan I’ve been through. I’m only convenience fasting this time (skipping lunch but still drinking water), but I’ve fasted enough to have appreciation for the men and women who are out there working in the fields with no water. Ramadan starts 11 days earlier every year because it follows the lunar calendar and right now it is slowly marching its way backwards through the most busy time of a West African farmer’s year. Which brings up the other aspect of Ramadan one notices; everyone is a little on edge for obvious reasons. I’ve spent most of the month hiding away at the PC house taking care of my new PCVL duties. Only eleven more days left now though and this should happily be my last Ramadan.
PCVL. Each region in
Finally, a post!
I have to apologize for not writing in so long. As tends to happen every now and then, time just slips by. Since I don’t remember where I left off in the story of my life over here, I’ll start with a resume of what’s happened before starting the fall season.
- Bigger waterfalls
- Fourth of July party in Kedougou
- Roofs on the huts in the campement
- Lots of carpentry
- The RAINY season
- World maps
- Feelin good and lookin forward
What am I doing now (in brief)?
- Starting a business
- Prepping to raise $$$
- English camps
- Close of service conference
Now for details:
Bigger Waterfalls:
The tourist attraction for my village is a waterfall. The attraction for Dindefello is another bigger waterfall. However, both of these pale in comparison to the waterfall at Ingli and no one goes there except for PCVs. This is because it is only accessible by foot or bike and we are pretty much the only foreigners who know about it and are willing to take a 120km trip to get out there and back. Boy was I glad I did. I’ll let pictures speak of it’s grandeur.
Fourth of July party:
Every year the Kedougou region hosts a fourth of July party for all of the PC volunteers in Senegal. This year, over half showed up, around 80 people. It was honestly one of the best if not, the best Fourth of July I have had. Events included, corn hole, horse shoes, can jam, water balloons (my doing), and super soakers (my doing). Food included the staple sides of the 4th and PIG! Quite a delicious rarity in Senegal. I won’t be here for next year’s 4th, but if you are looking for a good way to celebrate America’s independence next year, you should come to Senegal to get it.
Roofs on the Campement:
As you all know, my main project is building an ecotourism lodge. We received about $5,000 USD in January and have now converted most of that into three huts and a bathroom for tourists. At the time that I left to go to America, the walls were up, the rains were coming, but there were still no roofs. I am happy to say that they are all on now. Having roofs on the huts marks a real the achievement of being close to being done with this phase of the project, eight months and much sweat after starting. It is a great feeling to be able to look at them and think “I made that happen” (with funding from the US government and the physical contributions of many people from the village) and know that it will soon be providing a source of formal income for 10 individuals and financially support the village’s own development efforts to the tune of 15% of it’s profits. It’s hard to imagine accomplishing things that are much more rewarding than that in my life.
Lots of carpentry:
Without me knowing my counterparts commissioned the doors and windows of the campement to be made out of African Mahogany. Dough! But very beautiful. Except, the carpenters used nails that were twice as long as they should have been so they all have ugly nails bent over on the back sides. I had a revelation recently that this campement was never going to be as nice as I had envisioned it because I was not MY campement, a realization that was precipitated by seeing the patterns on the sheets that my counterparts bought, but the massacre of the beauty of African Mahogany was one thing that I could not let stand. So I have many days over the course of the last few weeks pulling out all of the nails and then replacing them with screws. Seems like a pretty simple operation, but the wood is incredibly dense and the screws are incredibly weak. In order to get them in I had to take out the existing nails, pound in slight larger nails just to enlarge the holes, then pull those out, and put the screws in. Towards the end of the work I got my hands on a cordless drill (God Bless America) and it all went much faster. Anyway they are done now and they look much better. The other carpentry I have been doing was ripping 24 meters of wooden planks down to size for the window frames. When I was in America I picked up a saw sharpening file knowing that I was going to be doing this but neglected to buy saw set pliers (which push the teeth of the saw out alternating directions so the area that it cuts is wider than the blade of the saw, keeping it from binding up). So every time the saw bound up in the wood, I cursed myself for not having the foresight to get the set pliers (now in the mail) here sooner. Once it is here, I am going to sharpen and set every single saw I see because nearly every hand saw in Senegal is dull.
Ok, I’m taking a break and posting this now, but I will finish the details soon.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Journal of a PCV Parent Cont.
Tambaconda was a resting place for us while Zach got organized and provisioned for his installation in his village. (See provisions picture: Bucket with lid to store food, a mat for the dirt floor, a latrine wash kettle, and a wash bucket with cup for bucket bath or clothes washing.) We then went on an adventure, at my request, to Nicola Koba National Park. We stayed at the Wassado, a French run tourist Campement that was flat out luxury compared to the last week and a half. We were in the park forest so it was cool and our room had fans. We showered and I put on makeup and a dress and felt like I was on a date with my two favorite guys! We ate on a porch on the edge of the Gambia River on white linens with wine and French cooking, a chilled mango mousse for dessert, the cool breeze and night sounds of baboons playing in the trees nearby. A bit of heaven! We went on a private safari the next day. The pictures will tell the story. We had a fabulous lunch midday of rice (without dirt), turkey, grapes, tomatoes and hardboiled eggs as a cold salad with vinaigrette dressing. It was the best meal in a long time and thoughtfully tooted in cooler full of ice with cold drinks as well. We fell asleep on a mat provided for us and slept off the midday heat. (Why don’t we do this here on hot days? It certainly is survival in sub Saharan Africa.) That evening after another fabulous French meal complete with the first lettuce salad we dared eat, we sat in chairs on the bank of the river and watched the silhouettes of baboon families playing in the trees across the river. This was a magical moment! Thanks again Zach for knowing when we needed a break!
Sue
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Week 4 of 5 Journal of a PVC Parent
This trip had intrigue, bribery, violence, humor, humanity and comradary! Most of all it did not have goats tied to the top of the bus! Of the 23 hours we traveled, we had 3 2hour stops. The first stop was to wait for a second bus to make a connection, so we were stuck in a crowded parking lot with pretty disgusting latrines, which by now I could handle because it was better than the alternative! It was just HOT and dusty. We had a lunch of bananas and baguettes (by now we are getting pretty lean). It was an anxious wait because you had to be sure the bus you came on did not leave with your luggage and no one seemed to know why we were waiting. Back on board. Many hours before a lunch stop and dash to a latrine. Then the first of many passport checks started. It was a long aft of stop and go and it was getting towards evening and still no bathroom stop. Finally a stop and I saw a latrine in the distant field and some women from the bus heading towards it so I start off, telling the boys that in no way can they let the bus leave without me! The bus driver started honking his horn and wanted us back for a passport check. I looked at the woman next to me and raised my hands in a question. She grabbed my arm and we ran towards the latrine while the driver honked furiously. She handed me the bucket and she peed out back and gave me the latrine. I started to run back and again she took my arm and shook her head to say “No, don’t run” as we got back to the bus the driver honked his horn in our ears, we just got on the bus with our noses in the air as if to say “ We are women and we have the right to pee, you will just have to wait.” When we got to our seats I turned to look at her and thank her and we shared a giggle. Those kinds of moments of connection were astounding and made me feel more than OK. It is a foreign land, language and culture but we can still connect and share compassion for one another! Later another two hour stop at customs. The Nigerian Nationals were forced to pay a bribe. They were hassled the whole trip, we were not. Our Embassy is too strong in Senegal. We had started the trip at 6AM; our third stop was at 2 AM at immigration. This was a small building in a small court yard with, by far, the worst latrines of the trip (just take my word, I do not want to describe) There were three gendarmes one of whom was more official and his job was to take our passports and hand write our information on a tablet (in pencil! How official is that?) We were the third bus there and there seemed to be no hurry. It could take up to 5- 10 min per person. We were too discouraged to do the math. Finally a non Senegalese African National got tired of being treated this way and got angry with the gendarme. Suddenly we heard loud voices, a very loud slap and the crowd began to get very agitated. We moved to the back of the crowd. All I could think about were the semiautomatics the three officials had, but some people surrounded the disgruntled man and escorted him out of the courtyard until he had calmed, Whew! We finally arrived in Tambacounda at 5AM and slept until 8:30. We had much to do that day!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Campement
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Journal of a PCV Parent Cont. Mali to Senegal I
Mali to Senegal Part I
How do I describe the return trip? It would make a great B type short film. There was drama, pathos, pain, humor, terror, and feats of endurance! I did not even document it in my journal as I was hoping I would forget it, but the experience is indelibly marked into my brain and psyche. I can say in hindsight that I am glad I experienced it as I now have a measure to which I will always compare bad experiences. As in, “You think this is bad? You should have been on the return trip to Senegal from Mali!” Words do not do this justice, but there are no pictures as I was too busy ”making it through”! I will say that, again, while so many experiences were out of our control, what really got me through was Zach’s concern and support as well as Dave’s. When I finally lost it towards the end of the ordeal, everyone treated it as normal, including the Senegalese! OK here goes…
Phase 1 Bandiagara cliffs to Bomako (By the way, if any of you are into Jimmy Buffett, His latest CD is titled Hotel Buffett, The hotel is in Bomako and so was he 6 months before us. I doubt very much that he had our travel experiences! This was an over night ride. Zach had gotten tickets ahead of time, but when we got there the bus was full! (Duped again!) Our choice was wait for a day or ride in a bus that had 70-100 goats tied on top with their feet tied in rice bags. We thought , “Well OK they are not in the bus so this should be alright.” Overnight ride. Slept for the first two hours then woke up cold (Yes cold in Mali, Huh!) Slowly it dawned on us, there were small vent windows along the top of the bus windows and they were open. A fact we were thankful for when we got on the bus and it was 101 degrees. Now however, we were covered with goat pee spray and uncomfortably cold, while the bus driver played the Nom Song (A Griot storytelling song) over and over. Now it is morning, then midmorning and the temp is soaring and we are covered in goat pee and smelling, hungry and desperately needing to pee ourselves. Finally out side of Bomako with the city in sight the driver stops to let the goats off and I stand up on the bus and cry in front of everyone (Not a very Muslim thing to do!) When we got to our hotel, I just stood in the shower with my clothes on and watched the cockroaches in the corner! While this sounds rather desperate, all it took was a new hotel room, three showers and a cold Fanta at the Campenaird (A nice Lebanese restaurant) to make me feel better. Then there was day two……
Sue (Zach's Mom)
How much longer?
AND COME VISIT!
America
- We are generally ignorant of other cultures. This observation happened even before I arrived in America. Once my Delta flight was off the ground the first thing the stewards (esses) did was serve us ham sandwiches. (Muslims, who made up probably 80% of the DL216 population, do not eat pork products, whoops.) I had a good laugh and delicious sandwich at this. God Bless America.
- America is green. I had this observation while sitting on my back deck. In much of America, if we don't cut down the trees, shrubs, and grass they will over grow our homes. The environment in Senegal is better, but in Mauritania, if they do nothing (or even if they do something) their homes will covered with sand. God Bless America.
- Large grocery stores. I walked through Wegmans (a chain grocery store somewhere in between Whole Foods and Quality Markets (R.I.P.)) and bought five of everything, literally shoveling goods off the shelves. The only luggage I returned to Senegal with was full of food. God Bless America.
- Americans are wonderfully and excessively inventive. Keystone Light now gives away plastic bottle necks that you can pop onto the top of a can to beer to make it look like a bottle of beer. Who ever said Keystone Light wasn't classy? Too bad they have to give them away because no one in their right mind would buy them (I have two). God Bless America.
- We Americans are living the good life. I avoided saying this while I was home and I am hesitant to say it now because it sounds cliche, makes me sound holier-than-thou, and no one having a bad day likes to hear it, but the fact is, it's true. There is so much that we take for granted in America (for example, that drinking water comes out of the ground cool, not piping hot (and even though it is already cool we have the means to cool it further, just cause)) that at times it was difficult for me to hear anyone complain about anything. At the same time, as I have said when describing people's attitudes over here, life is relative. If your basic requirements for survival are met, when you get up in the morning in a place you are used to you tend to think "Ok, what's for breakfast?, what am I going to do this morning?, I wonder if Joe/Mamadou is feeling better." not "Wow! I own my own car! My house is made of beautiful wood! Grass is growing on my lawn!" or "Wow! I own my own donkey! My house has an excellent thatched roof! There is enough manure in my sandy yard to grow corn when the rains come!" If you have enough to eat, a decent shelter, clothes, and some sort of work to do, your day to day emotions are probably not so different from a billionaire. A few decades from now the newest generation of Americans will look back at the America my generation grew up with and wonder how we could have survived such a backwards existence, where we did not even have the internet, just as my generation looked back at a time not so long ago where household electricity did not exist. Prosperity's affect on an individual's enjoyment of life is not a direct correlation, other wise we would be just be high all the time. We ought to turn down the dial of need since it's not getting us anywhere and in its place we ought to appreciate the grass covering the topsoil covering the rest of the earth that we stand on. God Bless America.
- Transportation. At no time while I was in America did I have to ride in a make shift seat in the trunk of a station wagon that was 20 years old. God Bless America.
- Being in your own culture. Zero is the number of times I was called Toubab (white person) by little kids while I was in America. I heard it 10 times just on the taxi ride out of the airport when I returned to Senegal. Similar to that, I was describing the Senegalese habit of hissing at people to get their attention to some American friends and they responded that they thought it seemed pretty offensive, I agree. God Bless America.
- America is magic. As if all this was not enough, I spent the last night at home, standing on my back deck watching fireflies light up the woods. America is magic. God Bless America.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
HOME
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
My Hut
This is my hut right after the rainy season. Most of the greenery is gone now. It still needs to be rethatched, that should be happening in the next couple of weeks.
Robert Pirsig, the author of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, once said "I think that if we are going to reform the world, and make it a better place to live in, the way to do it is not with talk about relationships of a political nature... or with programmes full of things for other people to do... The social values are right only if the individual values are right. The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands, and then work outward from there..." I am a firm believer in this philosophy and extend it not just to making mental and political changes, but also to making physical changes. In that spirit, I have been "developing" my hut. (Although this idealism might just be a cover for my love of building and tinkering.) Anyway, I have been having fun and here are the results of some of my improvements.
When I got there, this door was just a beat up old piece of tin with a bunch of holes in it. I decked it out with the bamboo facade.
This shelving has been my biggest project. It was tricky to figure out how to get it to hold the curved shape while still support it horizontally, but after a few midday naps I came up with a solution. I made the shelving part out of a kind of wood that is almost exclusively used for making stools. So all the days I was out there cutting it up, everyone who walked by said, "Oh, you are making a stool." (Cultural side note: not knowing something makes one look bad so when they see someone doing an activity but they are not sure exactly what they are doing, they will guess and make a statement out of it rather than simply ask what they are doing. This gets a little old.) So I would correct them and tell them to go inside my hut and look. One particular time the village chief, who's compound I am in, happened to be there when someone came by and said, "Making a stool huh?" for the umpteenth time. I sighed and told him to go inside my hut and look. When he came back out he said, "Wow, that's impressive, I thought you were just making a stool." To which the village chief incredulously responded, "You thought he was just making a stool? Have you seen what he did to his door???" I got a kick out of that.
Door and shelving. (Mom, see, now I am as organized as Tim!)
Close up on the shelving.
My compost pit. Water from washing my hands after going to the bathroom automatically waters the pit.
The door to my garden.
A small veggie garden behind my hut.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Kedougou Regional House
One of my first posts in Mauritania was about how there really was no feeling of being "inside the home" and almost all of the days activities took place outside. I stand by that observation and perhaps these photos will help you to understand. What is pictured below is the Peace Corps regional house for the volunteers in Kedougou. This is where we stay when we need to use the internet, get to a bank, buy supplies, or unwind. While some of the regional houses in Senegal resemble and American dwelling, the one in Kedougou really follows the Senegalese lifestyle, although it is Americanized quite a bit.
This is what we call the porch and where we spend most of our time.
The building that says Welcome to Kedougou is for storage and the building with the thatched roof is where we sleep.
As you can see, almost all of the buildings are open on the sides. Actually the only buildings with doors that close are the storage rooms and the bathrooms.
Our kitchen.
And that's what we call home when we are not in our villages.
Coming home
I think coming home to visit is just as surreal for me at this point as leaving home to do the Peace Corps was when I started. It's definitely as exciting. Words can not express how good I imagine it will feel to be HOME, even for a little while. I have definitely found it to be true that the more you travel the more you appreciate where you grew up.
Having been gone for two years and living with such a different cultural perspective on life, it will be interesting to see what about America is difficult for me now. I have some guesses. It's probably best not to complain to me about the minor inconveniences you experience. I probably won't tolerate hearing about cold temperatures being a bad thing either. Also I have heard that the waist size of our fellow Americans can be alarming and take some getting used to again.
Anyway, I AM PUMPED to be coming home!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Friendship
It’s funny that you have been thinking about what constitutes friendship and relationships with others, I have been thinking a lot about that too.
When I was in Mauritania I went a little crazy. It’s my own fault and I eventually recovered but for a little while there I lost the ability to relate to other people in a meaningful/friendful way; I was more or less emotionally dead. That experience shook me up quite a bit and ever since I have been appreciating the value of having close friends in a new way. Also, being that I have said goodbye to everyone I knew and made all new friends twice in the last two years now I have been thinking a lot about how our generation is the first to be able to maintain “close” friendships with many people we rarely, if ever, see. We have all these friends from all over the place and with internet we can stay in contact with them incredibly easily though they are scattered. One can develop close relationships with those around you through shared experiences, like your friends from grade school, but it is nice to have people that you have a close connection to even though you have shared very few experiences, I get more emails from someone I spent two days with than I do from anyone I grew up with. Many, maybe most, of my closest friends do not know each other. The question is, to fulfill our mutual obligations as friends, is it enough that I stay in contact with them or are they too dispersed and I should focus more on those around me?
Being in the Peace Corps you are part of this unusual but awesome network of friends. Any time I meet a PCV now I am immediately at ease with them. I can show up to a party of volunteers that I have never met before and it’s not awkward at all because I have this shared experience with them. Sort of like the bonds we had in the IED class, but magnified and with a much larger number of people. Also in the Peace Corps, the people who are around you is changing constantly, even if you don’t get kicked out of the country you were serving in. When I was in training I was with one group of people, when I went out to my site there was a different group of people in my region, then the old volunteers left, the new ones did not come, but we were kicked out and I started the cycle anew in a different place; every six months or so some or most of the people around me change. I am constantly saying goodbye and meeting new people. Also since we spend so much time out at our sites throughout our service we don’t even really get the chance to know each other through the normal interactions you would expect. I am close friends with many people of whom I know almost nothing about. It is almost disturbing how easily friends come and go here. Yet at the same time it is fascinating that friendships can be so fluid, coming and going like the tide. From what I understand, being in DC is a lot like that too; high turn over of people, everyone looking to meet new friends, and general feeling of ease when encountering strangers in the same situation.
In your email you also brought up another element that I struggle with: work. The work that I am doing now is like play to me. Very little of it is onerous and all most all of it is terribly exciting and fun to do. When you are overworked and it feels like it, its easy to cut back and just hang out with friends. However, when your work feels like play but still accomplishes goals that are very meaningful to you, it is harder to slow down and make time for the people close to you. I struggle with this dilemma a lot. Often other volunteers will be hanging out just shooting the shit or watching a movie and I’ll be around but still moving around some what like a work ghost; I am there but I have this sort of tunnel vision just for what I am doing and it is hard to slow down enough to participate in what everyone else is doing. Even when I force myself to stop, work/play is on the back of my mind. On one hand, what is so wrong with that? I am enjoying what I am doing and I find it tremendously rewarding. Is it a problem that it consumes my life if it does so in an agreeable way? If I have close friends all over the world that I value more that many of the people who are close in proximity to me whom I almost never see and I am finding it hard to find time to hang out even with those who ARE in close proximity, many of whom I count as my good friends but actually have spent little time with, what sort of situation is that? Is that proper friendship on any level?
That question aside, I do love that I have close friends who are spread out across the globe and I never wish to change that. However, I think that you must be careful that you always maintain or cultivate relationships with people that actually are close enough to you to physically interact. I love that you are my friend and love every time I hear from you, but if I can’t shoot you with a squirt gun from time to time then I need to make sure that I have other friends around that I can. Also I think that no matter how rewarding your work is, it cannot replace the value of enjoying your relationships with people close to you. Although both add meaning and richness to your life two are not comparable, each is important in its own way. Hanging out with friends and just watching a movie or taking life slow does not save the world, but it will save you. We need to unwind and hanging out with your good friends is the best way to do that. It keeps you centered, reminds you that you are human, and keeps you from driving yourself into becoming a feelingless work-bot. Also, it’s a heck of a lot of fun.
As it turns out, every animal has different predilections for interactions in social groups; what’s more these social groups have a pre-established size. Just as we can’t easily remember more than seven to ten numbers in our head at one time (its not a coincidence phone numbers have that many digits) we also can’t keep more that 150 people in our social “group.” I don’t know this but I would argue that when those 150 people are scattered all over the place and times in your life, when many of them don’t know each other, it becomes difficult to juggle even that many. Sure Facebook will inform you what they are up to, but that becomes just a blip of information to note with all of the other blips. I think the time period we are currently inhabiting provides us with some unique opportunities to cultivate deep and lasting friendships with people faster than has ever been possible. It also allows us to keep those friendships alive over great distance. We can stay close friends with someone we met once even though we almost never see them. At the same time, we can also rely on the same attitudes and tools to put a façade of friendship on our lives that keeps us up to date with the people in our lives but does not go deeper than that because we are only allowing time for superficial encounters. I think the ease of communication gives us a false sense of connection. I am more informed of my friend’s birthdays now than I have ever been, I have a calendar of them that pops up every time I open my email, but I bet I haven’t been to one more birthday party than I would have otherwise because of it. Its easy to forget that knowing what is going on in someone’s life is not at all the same as being there for it. You get lulled into a false sense of participation. Wall posts and genuine interaction are not the same thing. They help you to maintain that link with other people but they are not what friendship is.
The technology and lifestyles we have do not doom us, they just provide the temptation to become complacent with the ease and pace of communication we can use to keep our social networks alive; alive but not living. It is essential that we recognize this fact and find the time to have real interactions. Going from work to the bar or club till exhaustion to sleep and then work again does not always count. Drugging ourselves is an easy way to unwind but when it becomes a pattern, and I am not even talking about alcoholism here, it feeds the cycle of superficial relationships. Your mind can be just as absent from your interactions with your friends when you are partying as when you are at work even though the location and activities are different.
So what can we do? If our connectivity today allows us to find and keep close friends in special ways, then do it. Just realize that if you want to keep the friendships really meaningful, you are going to have to go out of your way to see them from time to time. I stopped going to fast food restaurants a while ago and discovered that I much preferred to find old friends to eat with even if that meant driving six hours out of my way just to have lunch. Here in West Africa it is culturally very important to greet everyone you know when you pass by and if you haven’t seen someone in a while to go out of your way just to greet them. At first I was frustrated with the fact that whenever I was in a hurry I would have to slow down to extensively greet everyone that I knew along the way. Then one day I thought about it more. Where was it exactly that I was headed to that was so important that I did not have time to stop and say hello to all of the friends I passed by? When I thought about it that way, only life and death situations seemed more important. Ever since realizing this I have enjoyed the custom here. In the morning I make the rounds around my village just to say hello to my friends and family, even though I know I will likely see them later in the day and greet them again. In America the phrase time is money is a cliché, but generally reflects our feeling. That phrase is well known here as a way to understand American culture. However, what is missing is the companion phrase to African culture: time is relationships. Having experienced both I think that both cultures could benefit from a little of the other.
This is approaching the length of an epic novel so I will leave you with one final thought. They say that it is important to stop and smell the roses from time to time. I think this is true, roses are worth a sniff. However, lets not forget that its equally important to stop and smell our friends from time to time. Although they might not have showered, the company they provide can be just as sweet.