It’s well known that not everything translates from one language or culture to another. In fact a lot of learning a new language is about learning how to think in that language as well as what the words mean in your own. The same is true for learning a new culture. Here are a few examples that I am struggling to adapt to:
- “Mi solkaani (I don’t need)…” Mauritania has a very indirect culture. If you have a problem with someone, a lot of times you will as a friend to talk to that person for you. For a while my neighbor was putting his stereo speaker in his window and blasting music out into the street. Mostly it didn’t bother me, but eventually I went over and asked him to take the speaker out of the window, to which he happily agreed. I found out a few days later that this had been bothering the whole neighborhood for weeks, but it was too direct to just ask him to take it out of the window. I think the best example of this though is the fact that when being pressed to buy things in the market, its impolite to say that you don’t need them because that is too direct. Instead, you are supposed to say “thanks”; “no thanks” is too direct as well.
- “Aan ko cukalel (You are a child)…” I’ve talked about social relationships here before, but it is difficult to accurately express how different the social culture is here. In the U.S. you are judged by who you associate with, but for the most part it is your own character that earns your reputation. Here, it is almost exclusively your who you associate with and your age and you only associate with your age group peers. Primarily your relationship with those older than you is based on doing what they tell you to do and for those younger than you, telling them what to do. In the U.S. after about 20-25 your age ceases to be a major factor in your social standing. However, here it never diminishes in importance. People are always surprised to find out my age and when they do they call me a child. Most people my age here are still more or less living to serve their parents, as is the role for all kids here.
- “Ine wodde yiyyi dum (It has been a long time)…” This one I get a lot. I think I many have mentioned this before but it’s difficult to have a lot of friends here, for both foreigners and nationals. One thing that I initially failed to appreciate is in a highly social culture, socialization takes more work. It simple to say and seems obvious, but in practice it has proven difficult for me. A great example is the phrase I mentioned. Basically, if I haven’t seen someone for just one day, they will tell me that it’s been a long time and ask me where I have been. (They will also ask me where I have been even if I have already seen them earlier.) Perhaps the most consistent event here is going to visit your friends; it takes priority over everything else and explains why not much else happens on time. I have to admit, there is a certain logic to it, what could be so important that you don’t have time to visit your friends. After all, in the long run, your social connections are generally more important than whatever it is you are rushing off to. However, I struggle to remember not to be indignant when people demand where I have been and that it has been a long time since I have seen them, especially when it has been less than 24 hours. In the U.S. it’s impolite and not true, but here it is just the opposite. That’s why it’s difficult to have a lot of friends here; you are expected to visit or call them every couple of days or they think you don’t care about them. Mostly I get by on the excuse that I am not from here.